And I Wanna Fight, But I Can't Contend
by Maegfen
Summary: "Abby wonders if they haven't been heading towards this point for months, maybe even years. There has always been an underlying tension between them, but she was married and he was Kane and suddenly it's all coming to a head. Abby doesn't think she wants to stop. " - Prequel to 'And I Guess That's Love, I Can't Pretend...' - Just how did Abby and Kane start their 'relationship'


**Author's note: **So, here's the prequel one-shot to my first 100 story that I posted a few days ago. Still love writing for these two, and I wanted to tell the story of how they came to be in their 'relationship'.

Plus, more smut demanded to be written, so here we are ;)

Title again from 'Can't Pretend' by Tom Odell.

Set pre-series, but major spoilers for 01x03 - Earth Kills

Let me know what you think. I know we're a smallish group of fans at the moment but any feedback is really appreciated :)

* * *

She expects the knock as it sounds on her office door; Jackson had called her on his way to Michelle's to tell her that Kane was heading towards Sick Bay, obviously on the war path. Clearly he had heard about the heated discussion she'd held with Jaha over the new rationing system in the middle of the Mess Hall over lunch.

"Come in," she says, not bothering to turn and face him. She hears him step inside and close the door, the light in the office growing slightly dimmer from his actions.

"Councillor," he states, as if the formal use of her title will prevent the inevitable argument that she knows is about to occur. She can see him out of the corner of her eye, but she refuses to turn and face him just yet.

"Councillor," she replies neutrally, keeping her focus on the paperwork in front of her. She has no patients for the afternoon and she is catching up on the bureaucratic part of her job description. It's a boring but necessary evil and she likes to keep on top of it. Abby just wants Kane to say his piece and then leave her alone to continue; she has more important things to be getting on with than dealing with his superiority complex.

"I think we need to talk," Kane says after a moment as he leans almost casually against the side of her desk, arms folded defensively across his chest. She hates it when he does that; it's what he did when he stood and watched the guards take her husband and daughter away 3 months ago.

"I'm sure we probably do," Abby sighs under her breath, finally turning round to face him. There is something akin to fury in his eyes. She ignores it; she's pretty sure the expression is reflected on her own face. There is something about this man that immediately riles her whenever he appears. "What, exactly, do you wish to discuss today Kane?" She puts as much venom into his name as she can.

"It should be obvious _Abby_," he stretches her name out slightly, as if knowing that it's a sure way to irritate her. "You need to back down over this ridiculous rationing stance you have."

She scoffs and turns back towards her paperwork, signing off on a medical request before turning in her chair and answering him, crossing her own arms and glaring at him.

"I thought I was entitled to my own opinion Kane? Or am I only entitled to yours?"

He sighs in frustration, and Abby frowns as he only just manages to hold back a roll of his eyes before he glares at her.

"You are, _of course_, entitled to your opinion Abby. What you're _not_ entitled to is the undermining of the Chancellor's decision in a public venue in front of 40 or so witnesses. Jaha tells me that some of the more influential workers were there, _including_Diana Sydney." Abby watches as he shifts positions, turning to face her more fully. The angry expression on his face doesn't change as he continues.

"We cannot allow her any opportunity to build up an opposing force to the Chancellor and the council Abby; she will bring everything down around us if we give her the chance."

"Then Thelonious shouldn't have brought up the topic in the middle of the Mess Hall. The proposed rationing structure will push the limits of what the citizens of the Ark need to live. People require food to survive Kane, or have you forgotten that?"

"Of course I haven't forgotten," he replies, annoyance at her flippancy evident in his voice. Abby watches as he sweeps a hand through his hair and scowls at her, his mouth set in a hard line. "Why must you be so difficult?"

"I'm not being difficult," she snaps back at him angrily, annoyed that he has the audacity to enter her workspace and preach to her about her own views. "I'm serving my purpose as a member of the council. If there weren't opposing forces it wouldn't be a democracy Kane, it would be a dictatorship and we know how well they work out."

She continues to glare at Kane, torn between hitting him and ignoring him. How dare he do this? She says nothing as he takes a step forward and leans over her chair, encroaching on her personal space without a care about how she feels about it.

"You think you don't owe Jaha anything," he comments, spite running through his tone. "You owe him everything. He gave you a position on the council, provided you with new quarters, let you keep them even after your husband…"

"Don't you dare talk about Jake," she snaps, voice raised and almost deafening in the quiet of the small office. "You were the one who sentenced him, the one who locked my daughter up in solitary. Jaha took them both away from me." She stands then, poking a finger into his chest in anger as she rises. "_You_ took them away from me."

Abby is satisfied to see that he takes a tiny step back at the contact with his chest, but soon realizes his momentary shock isn't going to stop his tirade.

"Because they were a danger to the Ark, Abby! They were going to destroy everything we have worked towards for the last 97 years; you knew that, deep down. That's why you told Jaha about what your husband was going to do; you _knew_ Jake's decision was dangerous, that he was a liability to the safety of this ship!"

"I didn't think Jaha would _KILL_ him for it!" she shouts suddenly, before lowering her voice, "I didn't believe that either of you would see fit to punish him for wanting everyone to know. He was supposed to be your friend Kane!"

"He _was_ my friend Abby!" he shouts back, looking down at her as he takes a step forward, an angry glint in his eyes. "But the Ark comes first; it has to! Surely you understand that otherwise you're clearly deluding yourself!"

His breath is suddenly hot on her face and Abby isn't sure when exactly he backed her against her office door. Nor is she sure when she has ever seen Kane looking this dangerous. Abby knows she should try and escape but she finds herself pinned to the door, his hands resting either side of her head. His presence is overwhelming and she swears she can smell the faint scent of aftershave, sweat and something uniquely _him_. It's distracting and intoxicating all at once.

"You infuriate me," he says, glaring down at her. His pupils are dilated and he is breathing heavily. Abby knows a look of arousal when she sees it. She's pretty sure he can see the same on her; Jake had always said she got turned on by their arguments more than anything else. She shoves thoughts of her lost husband aside and faces the man in front of her. Kane hasn't moved and Abby knows he's waiting for a response.

"Likewise," she replies simply as she pulls him roughly towards her, initiating a kiss that she has no right in giving. It's _Kane_ for God's sake; she should be finding a way for him to float for his actions towards her family not shoving her tongue into his mouth. He responds in kind however and Abby wonders if they haven't been heading towards this point for months, maybe even years. There has always been an underlying _tension_ between them, but she was married and he was _Kane_ and suddenly it's all coming to a head. Abby doesn't think she wants to stop.

"This means nothing," he states, dragging his lips across her throat and marking her exposed collarbone with his teeth. Abby groans at the sensation before she replies.

"Nothing at all," she answers but something buried deep tries to tell her that maybe the two of them aren't being entirely truthful. His hands move to rest on her hips, his hold tight but not enough to bruise. It's just enough to keep her in place as he kisses her deeply, biting down hard on her lip before releasing her.

"I'm glad we agree for once." Kane's voice is husky against her ear and Abby pushes herself against him, trying to make him move. She wants to get off and he wants to get off so why are they delaying this?

She reaches for his jacket, trying to get some purchase and gives up, instead choosing to wrap her arms around his shoulders, hands moving into his hair. Kane is preoccupied with her jeans, and Abby pulls his hair slightly as he takes too long undoing the buttons and dragging the fabric and her underwear down her legs. She's grateful when Kane gives her a little space, stepping back slightly so he can shift his own clothing out of the way but he barely moves everything down his thighs before she suddenly finds herself lifted against her office door. Kane's hands are solid under her, and Abby silently thanks God that no one can see through the metal.

Kane encourages her to wrap her legs around him and she does so, feeling the heat of his arousal against her as she rests on his hips, close but not close enough. Abby wonders how they can turn from enemies to _this_in a matter of seconds, but can't bring herself to care. The whole situation is like a dream, some weird twisted fantasy, but Abby knows she's too far gone to think of consequences, of feelings, of who the man pressing her against the door actually is. She can hear her own heavy breathing and this is wrong in so many ways, but it feels so right and everything is so screwed up.

She leans forward to kiss him again, the embrace brutal as she nips at his bottom lip, the bite almost hard enough to draw blood. He holds her above him as he returns the favor, seemingly content to draw out the moment before, in an instant, he pulls her down slightly and then he's pushing into her…

They both moan at the feel of him within her, and Abby takes a deep breath as Kane presses her closer to the door, probably in a bid to get more purchase on her as he moves. There is a barely audible whisper of '_fuck_', but she can't tell if the word falls from her lips or his, so Abby ignores it and concentrates on the feel of having Marcus Kane inside her.

He thrusts slowly into her to start, the movement frustratingly deliberate. Even now, like this, he seemingly cannot resist trying to get the upper hand. She clenches around him and tugs at his hair, nipping at his ear forcefully before whispering huskily in his ear.

"Christ Kane, are you going to fuck me or do I have to find a way to get off myself?"

Her words sound harsh and he looks at her in surprise, eyebrows raised as if he either didn't expect the curse or that he believed his slow pace was satisfactory. He doesn't reply however, just tilts his head slightly in acknowledgement and finally, _finally_, speeds up.

Kane isn't rough with her though, which surprises and angers Abby. This isn't love, or romance; this is a release of tension and anger and nothing more. She grabs his hair and pulls him closer, biting his lip again as he moves quickly inside her. He groans at the pain and thrusts harder causing her back to hit the solid door behind her with more force than before; she relishes the feeling. She hasn't been with anyone since Jake and she'd forgotten how good it could feel.

Neither of them talks as he moves, and Abby suspects it's only a good thing; who knows what she'd say to him if she spoke. Kane slows down, looking at her as he shifts her slightly to allow himself to move deeper within her, harder, although not enough to hurt her. It feels amazing and clearly they needed to get this out of their system.

One of Kane's hands presses against the door behind her, while the other wraps around her back, his hand clutching her waist. Abby moves and grabs the wrist of his outstretched arm. Her grip is hard and she delights in the racing beat of his pulse under her fingers. Kane pulls her closer, his hold so tight on her waist that she thinks she'll have bruises. He fucks her harder and she moans, low and deep at the feel of him pushing into her.

Abby can tell the second she feels herself reaching her release, the feeling of Kane inside her edging her inevitably towards completion. She clutches his hair and his wrist harder, urging him on, her breath hot on his skin as she accidentally whispers 'please' in his ear. He grants her wish, speeding up but maintaining the deep thrusts. The pressure of his fingers on her body gives her the sensation of pain to mix with the pleasure and it suddenly becomes too much...

She comes with a drawn out moan, eyes closed and head leaning back against the door. Kane isn't far behind her, but she pointedly ignores how her name sounds as it escapes, hoarse and low, from his throat. He rests his head on her shoulder as he struggles for breath and it is only then that Abby feels the discomfort of wearing too many clothes while being wrapped around another person. She isn't sure how to feel, the elation of her climax wearing off into anxiety and self-loathing for what she's allowed herself to do, and who she's done it with. Abby tries to push Kane away so that he can lower her to the ground. He nods, still breathless, his eyes closed and Abby frowns as she feels the ghost of a kiss on her neck before he lets her down. It's different to the brutal embraces they've shared; almost intimate, and Abby isn't sure how to feel. She passes it off as the heat of the moment and chooses to disregard the implications.

They don't say anything afterwards, merely turn away from the other and dress and adjust themselves awkwardly, both silently coming to terms with what has occurred. Embarrassment courses through Abby because she should despise this man and everything he stands for, yet there is something that pulls her towards him. Whatever it is can only be dangerous and she decides, as she watches him move towards the door that she needs to be careful. He turns to face her, eyes steady and gazing at her, as if searching for the answer to an unasked question.

Abby knows instantly that this will happen again, that she is now irreparably involved with this man, for better or worse. She suspects that fucking Marcus Kane will be like a drug; a wonderful high for the body but a terrible burden for the soul; something addictive that eventually wears off before you can appreciate the feeling. Still, if there was anyone better on the Ark to relieve tension with and know it will remain a secret, she can't think of them…

"I trust you'll rethink your position on the rationing scheme," is all he says as he clears his throat and turns to leave and as effortlessly as that they have turned the clock back half an hour, what happened between them (not so easily) forgotten. Abby doesn't reply, just fiddles somewhat anxiously with her sleeve and shrugs, turning her back on him in dismissal. She doesn't trust herself to say anything to him and she is relieved when the door opens and shuts quietly behind her without another word.

She goes to the small bathroom in Sick Bay to clean up, and frowns at the marks Kane has left on her skin, red and raw as if he's branded her, marked her as his. She wonders if she left similar patterns on him before she dismisses the thought. It was all about getting off, not about marking, or owning, or _feelings._She tries to continue with her paperwork but becomes increasingly distracted, everything in the tiny room a constant reminder of their encounter. She manages 20 minutes of work before she gives up for the afternoon, ruing the day she let Marcus Kane work his way into her thoughts.

Still, when he turns up at her door 3 days later in the middle of the night she doesn't turn him away, just lets him in and takes him to bed without a word being uttered. Abby accepts that whatever this new found relationship is between them is just something to relieve the tension, a convenient way to find a release. Nothing more, nothing less. And that will never change.


End file.
